I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
