And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My vagina is very pro this idea
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
