Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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