I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
