You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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