I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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