Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
