He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
