If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
