I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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