Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
