Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
