He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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