oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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