I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
