It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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