Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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