Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
