i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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