Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
