We named our party play list daddy issues
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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