Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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