Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
