So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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