No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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