So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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