Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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