I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize