I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
