ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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