I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
