it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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