i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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