if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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