Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
