hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
