Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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