I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
