Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize