ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
