i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
