May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
