I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
