Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
