your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
