help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize