I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
