so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
