Ambien. No doubt about it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this beer tastes like vomit already
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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