If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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