we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
