So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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