Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
my liver is dry heaving
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
