Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
