why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
