His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
