This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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