Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize