he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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