she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
