Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
