It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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