i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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