I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
