I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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