Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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