walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
